It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
two words...techno handjob
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
