and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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