Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Its about making memories worth repressing
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
