Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
