Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize