I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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