Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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