There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
