Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
