omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
