i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
