He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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