i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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