when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
