Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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