Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
