I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
