I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
