she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
