so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
