so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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