you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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