I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
