I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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