The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
