He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
