Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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