we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
