that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
