so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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