brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
