Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my sisters under your porch take her home
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
