you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
