ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
