there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
