everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize