I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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