She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
do herpes really smell.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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