I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize