so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
