It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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