The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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