u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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