Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize