Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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