ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
