i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
