Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize