He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
