you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
