now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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