Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
