Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
