I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
