my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
