Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
