It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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