did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
