its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
