I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
