so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
