windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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