honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
