do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
