South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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