69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
