he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
