Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
