Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
