Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
