so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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