I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize