Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize