yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
