Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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