Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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